Tiger Moms

I listened to an interview with the author of "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," Amy Chua with Michele Martin yesterday. What I was struck the most about was not the way she treated her children or the perfection she demanded, but the way mothers judge one another sometimes quite harshly. Not one of us knows what we are doing. We are all given this creature that we love innately and will defend regardless of the cost. We read the books, magazines and web pages. We all fret about breast or bottle, when to start solids and if our child is doing what they are supposed to. We brag to other moms about our child's accomplishments. This is all before the age of one. We all do it, some more subtly than others, competing, worrying, hoping we stack up.

The problem is that we are all a part of the same tribe, the tribe of mothers. Deep down we all want what every other mom on the face of the planet wants; happy, healthy kids. But we judge, we pick, we make comments, we compare. We see a mom struggle in the supermarket and while we may help out or flash an apologetic grin at her, deep down we sneer. That is not us in this moment and we are somehow better right now than she. We have goals for our children, aspirations, expectations. Deep down we are all "tiger moms." We all fight for what should belong to our children, for the hope we saw when we were handed this being we loved innately. It's the method that differs.