The Motherhood Personality Complex

I love motherhood, truly I do. Sure there are bad times, but the good times make it all worthwhile. That being said, the second I enter my cube farm, mommyville ends. Not that I don't think about my kiddos or have photos and drawings hung in my cube, I do. I also talk about them on occasion, but they are not the main focus for me; for eight hours a day, they do not define me.

Sure I tried the SAHM gig for a minute, it was not for me. I applaud anyone who can be their child's 24-7, but I learned quickly that I could not keep a hold of my SELF in doing so. Sure I felt guilty about time lost, daycare, the whole bit. Despite my guilt, I found I could be whole again while being two separate people. Their mother in the afternoon and evening and a hard working, sometimes snarky employee during the work day.

I find a lot of my coworkers are like this. They too have the photos and crayola works, we all know the names and ages of their kids, but they aren't a frequent topic. We all know our coworkers NAMES. Nobody is referred to as Little Jimmies mom. We are all known by our names and job ethic.

All this being said (as I'm now pretty sure I suffer from multiple personality disorder) I think it is a sad state that mothers do not have a community when they choose to stay home. Sure there are clubs, playgroups, Gymboree, but gone are the days when you could run next door to have coffee while the kids played because your neighbor is at work. I also think that motherhood should be a badge worn proudly and not one we have to put on and remove as the situation warrants. We should have an identity individual of our children as well as an identity of a mother but should not have to feel guilty in achieving that.