Having kids is like nailing jello to a tree

So who said parenting is easy? Maybe nobody, but when you see so many people doing it and know it has been done since the beginning, it seems like it should be natural. This should not be something that requires extensive reading or worrying that you could be ruining their lives forever. Maybe our kids have too much responsibility, maybe too little. Maybe the kids have too much screen time and not enough outdoor time, maybe too much family togetherness or not enough. Shouldn't we know inherently what our kids need?

The bottom line for me is that I have no clue, there I have said it, no idea at all. Are you frightened yet that I am raising 4 cherubic angels? I am. I have mini panic attacks at work when I realize the little one hadn't been read to the night before, or that I forgot to sign a permission slip or agenda. These are the moments my heart drops and I KNOW I am a terrible mother. Then the children come home. Everything is like a whirlwind and next thing you know it's bed time (thank the gods) and I am left once again fretting over what wasn't done.

Then I heard depressing stories on NPR in honor of MLK day (which apparently NPR is still all about today) about black children during segregation. One such child was 6 when integrated to school. It hurts me deep when another child hurts my kid's feelings. I know it's part of life, but it hurts. I cannot imagine what it would be like to tell your child that a bunch of people were going to ostracize him and call him nasty names all because of his skin color. That it is likely that when you try to help reach a lunch tray for a  little white girl she would say, "My mama told me not to take anything from a nigger." This made me hurt even deeper. When that child went home to his mama she couldn't tell him neat tricks to try to get along with other kids or to just stay away from that girl because she's not nice. That mom could do nothing about the hatred aimed at her little 6 year old son simply because he was black.

Here's where the story comes together, this is my revelation of the day. It hurts me when someone does something mean to my child. That is inherent, universal, and has been forever. There is no parenting book about that feeling, it is just there, ready to emerge when the situation occurs, it crosses racial and religious boundaries and the boundary of time. It is strong and maternal and makes me a good mom.